Showing posts with label fail. Show all posts

Scumbag FedEx Driver Caught On Camera Stealing Two Puppies From A Family




fed-ex-puppies
YOUTUBE
Usually people associate the arrival of the package delivery man with good things. Your scarf you ordered from Amazon, perhaps. But one family will always associate those ubiquitous FedEx trucks with something awful. The time a FedEx driver stole their puppies.
From ABC News comes the tale of a Houston family and their two French Bulldogs, Bruno and Sheila, who were snatched right out of their front yard.
Luckily, this story has a happy, wagging tail of an ending.
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The 13 Most WTF Professional Photoshop Fails That Actually Happened



photofail
There are reasons why big fancy websites and magazines hire graphic designers who went to prestigious schools for 4 years to hone their computer-art craft rather than your average Bob who downloaded Photoshop and decided to start clicking around one day. Bob might be really good at cropping images, but can he slim down a model’s waistline so that it doesn’t look like it’s been Photoshopped?
No, no he cannot.
These professional photoshop fails are what happens when the Bobs of the world lie on their résumés about where they went to school.
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Watch A Woman Go Absolutely APESHIT After Defeating Her Opponent In Arm Wrestling

crazy arm wrestling woman
YOUTUBE - GOOD VIDEOS

The facial expressions this woman makes as she competes in this arm wrestling contest are like nothing I have ever seen before. And those are nothing compared to what happens after she defeats her opponent and celebrates victory.
Not going to lie, this woman absolutely scares the living shit out of me.
“There’s a little pee coming out of me right now.”
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This Story Of A Kid Who Accidentally Flashed A Security Guard His Boner At School Makes Me Almost Wish I Had A Vagina


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SHUTTERSTOCK

Boners are awkward outside of the bedroom. They pop up outta nowhere at the most inconvenient times, like when you’re giving a best man speech in front of 150 people at a wedding, or when you’re meeting your girlfriend’s Dad for the first time at the beach and you just got out of the ocean and you go to shake his hand while pitching a tent.
…maybe that sort of shit only happens to me though.
But you get the point that boners aren’t always advantageous. Case in point? Poor Reddit user kurtcobain94 who wound up flashing the security guard at his school because he positioned his boner incorrectly. Whoops.
Today, I fucked up bad. It’s just a normal Wednesday morning, I woke up at 5:30 in the morning to get ready and catch the bus. I get up, shower, brush my teeth, and go to the end of my drive way.
I get on the bus, and like I normally do, I take my jacket off and cover myself up with it, but also fold on of the sleeves and use it as a pillow as I lie against the bus window. My bus ride is 2 hours long. I drift off to sleep, and in no time, we are at school.
Shouldn’t have slept. Whilst I was asleep, I managed to get a huge erection for no apparent reason. So I do what I normally do, I pull it up so it is lying on my tummy and my belt is holding it in place. It is useful because it doesn’t stick out as isn’t noticeable as long as I have a shirt on.
Please keep in mind, I go to an alternative school. We get metal detected by a cop every morning. I walk into the school, still having this massive boner. I walk up to get searched, and I had no metal items on me so I wasn’t scared or nervous of anything. But I forgot. MY FUCKING BELT HAS METAL ON THE FRONT. He takes the wand over my belt (because that is a usual place for people to hide weapons) and then it beeps. He pulls up my shirt, and sees about an inch of my dick sticking out, looking him right in the eyes. He quickly threw my shirt back down and let me go on without searching me anymore.
Fuck my life.
Lesson learned: never get a boner and go through a metal detector with a belt. Or maybe don’t go to a school with a metal detector and security guards. Or maybe don’t get boners. Ever.

[H/T Reddit, header image via Shutterstock]
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The Best Accidental Photobomb Of The Year Involves Some Guy’s Dick And An Unaware Couple At A Restaurant

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Intentional photobombs are fun, sure…but the unintentional ones are where the gold is really at. Think about it, what’s funnier: some guy jumping up and making a googly face in the background of your picture, or someone projectile vomiting onto a crowd of people behind you in a selfie? It’s the spontaneity that takes the accidental photobombs up to the top above intentional ones.
And so we have this accidental photobomb of a couple at a restaurant…where a little kid is grabbing a waiter’s dick. I could make jokes about the little kid but that’d be inappropriate because I try to be nice to small children in public forums (the emphasis on that sentence being on the word “try”), so I’ll just direct you to look at the waiter’s face. It’s lovely.
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IMGUR

[H/T Reddit]
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This Ultimate Workout Fails Compilation Makes Us Ask, ‘Do You Even Lift, Bro?’



workout fails
YOUTUBE - FAIL ARMY

Need to feel better about your measly workouts when you visit the gym? Then look no further than this ultimate workout fails compilation and then laugh, laugh, laugh.
See? You could be that guy.
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Worst Knife Thrower Ever Hits His Assistant Not Once, BUT TWICE On Live TV

bad knife thrower
YOUTUBE

Watch as a knife thrower, performing on Lithuania’s Got Talent, completely fails at his job of, you know, NOT HITTING HIS ASSISTANT, not once, but TWICE — once in the hand and once in the freaking head!
Lithuania apparently does NOT have talent.

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There Were So Many Stupid News Bloopers In 2014 They Had To Make A Part Two




best news bloopers
YOUTUBE - NEWSBEFUNNY

Since the news cycle is literally 24 hours, 7 days a week there was simply no way that the folks over atNewsBeFunny could fit all of the greatest news bloopers of 2014 into just one video.
So rather than leave out any of this past year’s classic flubs they went ahead and made a part two to the original video we showed you earlier this week. God bless ‘em.
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This Video Is Why You Never Cut Off A Semi Truck Unless You Have A Death Wish




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Do you want to die? Because that’s how you die.
I’ve never personally cut off a semi truck because I’m neither a raging moron nor a suicidal maniac who’s remaining purpose in life is to bring as many people around me down as I can, but I have to assume the driver of the Honda Civic in this video fits into one of these two categories. Most likely the former, honestly.
The girl driving the impacted car was transported to the hospital with minor injuries after she made a VERY poor decision. An 80,000 lb rig vs. your 2,000 – 4,000 lb car will result in at least your car being torn up, at worst, we are pulling your corpse out from the wreckage. Give us room to work, stay away from our rear and sides and front.
Don’t fuck with trucks.
[H/T Gawker and Liveleak]
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