The movies will tell you that sex is this highly romanticized act that takes place between two people if and only if they’re destined to fall in love, pop out a bunch of kids and ride off happily into the sunset on a unicorn that farts rainbows. The rest of us, however, know that’s a load of bullshit and that more often than not sex is awkward, sloppy and frequently ends in “Uh…okay well you can leave now” rather than the stereotypical spooning position every single rom com insists happens. It’s just reality folks, so here’s 6 stories to get your head out of the clouds and back into the bedroom, whether you want to be there at this point or not.

No matter what restaurant you walk into the staff will probably gossip about you at least once during your ~45 minute visit. Wearing weird clothes? Gossipped. Ordered 8 appetizers and 12 entrees despite only sitting at a table for one? Gossipped. Cautiously looking around because you’re on a Tinder date? Consider yourself found-out, because bartenders can smell that awkward shit from a mile away.