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1. Oh my god.
2. Oh my fucking god.
3. I am so hungover.
4. What did I do last night?
5. Why did I drink so much?
6. Did I drink that much?
::Attempts to count last night’s drinks through the haze that is your epic hangover::
7. Yep.

8. Oh god I think I might puke.
9. It’s so bright in here. GO HOME, LIGHT.
10. Please don’t talk to me.
11. No one ever talk to me again.
12. Please for the love of god stop texting me.
13. Stop TEXTING ME I AM NOT WELL, I SAY.

14. It feels like the hammer of Thor went to town on my head.
15. How many brain cells do I have left?
16. None. Probably none.
17. I have done irreversible damage.
18. All in the name of partying.
19. All in the name of vodka Red Bull.
20. I am an idiot.

21. I need all the water.
22. So much water.
23. This should help. 
24. It’s not helping.
25. ADVIL WHERE ARE YOU.
26. Food.
27. Food.
28. Me need food.

29. Bacon. Eggs. Cheese. Roll.
30. Repeat.
31. Ugh, why did I eat that. 
32. I feel even worse now.
33. WHY DID I EAT ALL THE GREASE.

34. Going back to bed now. 
35. Going back to bed forever.
36. OK, so much pain, I can’t sleep.
::Googles “hangover remedies”::
37. OMG this is all bullshit. And way too complicated.

38. I am dying.
39. I am officially dying.
40. Today might be my last day on earth.
41. Goodbye, world.
42. I am never drinking again.
43. But maybe some bloody marys couldn’t hurt.