Trending

YOUTUBE

First off let me begin that Auntie Angel on the YouTube video is a God damn liar. She makes it seem so easy and effortless but it’s not. Oh…it’s not.

About a week ago I ran into an article online about a blogger who caught wind of the original video on YouTube and decided to try it on her boyfriend for science. Her boyfriend loved it so I figured, why not?! What is the grapefruit blowjob you ask? You cut the ends off and a hole in the middle and proceed to use it to jack the guy off while sucking the head.

I sent the link to both article and video to my boyfriend which he proceeded to get as much of a kick out of it as I did. I figured it would be something “edgy” and “kinky” to try on VDay as a special occasion. Mind you, he told his coworkers about it and showed them the video PLUS he told them I was going to try this on him so the bar was set pretty high!

Come yesterday, we had dinner and on the way home we stopped at a grocery store to buy our new toy. There we were in the produce section feeling and sizing up grapefruits. Thick or think skin? Big enough? Squishy or hard? I felt extremely paranoid and kept thinking we had to buy something else because who the fuck goes to Walmart at 10 pm just to buy a single grapefruit with their boyfriend? Totally suspicious and deviant. So we bought a case of bottled water and I see this guy walking out of the store who glances over at our purchases on the belt and he kinda smirks at me. I’m thinking – HE KNOWS! (When we were feeling up the grapefruits he was standing next to us buying lemons…asshole!)
We make it to the bedroom and considering how easy Auntie Angel made it seem in the video I figured all we would need is a towel. So I have him cut the grapefruit ends off and a hole in the middle – easy peasy, right?

Slip into my nightie and saucily tell him to lay on the bed while I get to work. Okay…this is messier than I thought it would be so I put my hair in a ponytail. I slide the grapefruit down his shaft while I begin to jerk him off with it twisting back and forth while sucking on the head.
Do you know what it was like? A God damned porno parody, that’s what. All I could think of is, “that lying bitch! This is nothing like the video!” Don’t get me wrong, it made the blowjob taste great but the juice began to leak and squirt everywhere.

It was running down my chin, soaked my nightie, all over my chest, running down to the floor, soaking through the towel onto his bed and as I later discovered through the sheets and into the mattress. Mind you I’m on my knees trying my best because damn it were going to be kinky on VDay and I’m twisting this damn grapefruit back and forth on his dick trying to make the best of it.
Everything is covered it grapefruit by now, the more I twist and pump the more it goes everywhere, everything’s sticky and scented, and I have no idea what I’m doing anymore. I awkwardly asked if he was enjoying it to which he said he was and that it felt good but nothing Earth shattering as Auntie Angel promised.

The noise it makes is obscenely loud which mind you, his apartment walls are paper thin so I’m sure his neighbors heard as I could hear noises coming from the other side of the wall. All I could do at that point was count my blessings his roommate wasn’t home.

I gave up and took off the nightgown as it was soaked by that point. The more I twisted on the grapefruit the more juice went every which way. By then I was cackling like a mad woman because I looked like I was trying to squeeze out lemonade by hand except naked and on my knees.

The grapefruit kept getting thinner and thinner, after like 15 minutes it was pretty much all gone. My hands were starting to sting a little and I didn’t want to throw in the fowl like a quitter as he hadn’t cum yet. While we had bought two grapefruits, at that point I was like, “forget this!” The Mexican food and salsa I had earlier was not sitting well with all the grapefruit and it was starting to come back up. It was in my hair and slowly starting to creep into both all of our nooks and crannies.

I asked him to wash off and he looks at me incredulously. All I’m thinking of is that penis is not going into me like that because it’s going to burn or I’m going to end up with a yeast infection. Nope. Mind you it took me a while to realize the juice was probably seeping into his piss slit the entire time so I felt a pang of guilt.

So while he jumped in the shower I made the discovery on the mattress. It soaked through everything. The grapefruit left a weird, sour smell on the mattress and I began to panic thinking he was going to be upset so I poured some water on the mattress without realizing I was making the wet spot bigger.
I grabbed the first thing on the floor I could find to scrub the spot dry, turns out it was the shorts he was wearing prior to the deed. Oops. Found a towel and managed to scrub it as best as possible hoping he didn’t realize how bad and smelly it was.

Out of the shower he comes, slips back on his grapefruit shorts and I say nothing. Found grapefruit on the cross I wear on my necklace – sorry Jesus. At that point it was near 1 am, we were both exhausted from the long day, neither of us got off and we kind of just shuffled into bed awkwardly hoping neither of us would speak of this again. Mind you, I can imagine the letdown conversation he’s going to have with his coworkers. I’m wincing just thinking about it. Poor guy – he’s a champ for letting me experiment on him.

From here on out when I feel the need to try something out there I’m excluding anything from the produce section.