Showing posts with label animals. Show all posts
Italian Bro Wearing NASCAR Gear Catches Catfish Big Enough To Swallow Ricky Bobby
There are ‘big fish’ and then there’s this mutant Wels Catfish caught last week by a gentleman fishing in the Po Delta of Italy weighing 266-pounds (19 stone), and measuring 8ft9in in length.
Dino Ferrari reportedly reeling in the behemoth Wels Catfish in Po Delta, Italy last week and it is considered to be the largest of the species ever caught on rod and reel (but not the biggest Wels Catfish ever caught, that honors goes to a 308-pound catfish also caught in the Po Delta, and measuring 9-feet in length).
When news of this monstrosity of a catfish began hitting the Internet yesterday I was hesitant to post it, because pictures of the fisherman (Dino Ferrari, is that not the most stereotypically Italian sounding name in history?) show him wearing the exact same outfit as in this YouTube video from 2013 where he is cradling another gigantic Wels Catfish:
Former Guyism overlord, current Barstool blogger, and USC Football evangelist Chris Spags passed along that video above to me along with some pearls of wisdom on how the carcass of this trophy fish should be dealt with:
Put this seabeast down and leave it on the stoop of a black short order cook in Louisiana with a Post-It saying “Sry for Katrina. PS George Bush does care” and that’s a wrap. He would have been proud to be such a tasty po’ boy for someone who vomited up a Hand Grenade just a few hours earlier.
Firstly, it’s a mutha-fuckin’ RIVER MONSTER. Calling it a seabeast is demeaning to river monsters and seabeasts alike, so get your mutant fish nomenclature correct! Secondly, he’s right. We need to fry this summmabitch up and make it into po’boys, because there’s few things in life as delicious as a catfish po’boy.
I’m still not convinced this sucker was caught last week, but rather that it was caught back in 2013 when the YouTube video above was first published, but the Daily Mail (first to report on this catch) adds to the story:
A fisherman has caught a giant 8ft 9in long catfish weighing 19 stone – and it could be the biggest ever caught with the humble rod and line.
Dino Ferrari hooked the huge wels catfish, which was 2.67m in length, last week in the Po Delta in Italy.
The cannibalistic wels catfish, also known as the sheatfish, is native to Europe and can grow as long as 13ft and up to 62st – but it is exceedingly rare to catch one that is over two metres long.
Screw your stones and your metric system. I’m tired of having to google ’19 stone in pounds’ to look up the weight of a fish that you claim was caught last week but was actually caught two years ago…
The giant catfish immediately bolted 100 metres downstream, but Sam, from Chester, hung on and after a 35 minute battle finally landed the 2.5 metre-long fish.
In time honoured tradition, he then posed for a photo to secure bragging rights before letting the creature swim back into the water at the River Ebro in Catalonia.
In October a Cornish pensioner caught an 8ft-long, 15 stonepart-albino catfish, thought to be the biggest of its kind ever caught.
The aptly named Tom Herron, 68, from Launceston, battled the cream-coloured monster fish in the River Segre, Mequinenza, Spain, for 40 minutes before finally hauling it in.
The wels catfish is scaleless and lives in fresh and brackish water.
It is recognisable by its broad, flat head and wide mouth.
The wels catfish can live for thirty years and live off annelid worms, gastropods, insects, crustaceans and fish including other catfish; the larger ones also eat frogs, mice, rats, and even ducks.
Recently, Wels Catfish have been spotted in non-native habitats lunging out of the water to grab pigeons on land.
These things eat pigeons and we haven’t nuked the entire river yet? What the hell people?!?
Getting back to the whole 2013 vs. 2015 thing, let’s examine the evidence. These pictures are the one’s the Daily Mail published claiming the fish was caught last week:
Take notice of that Italian bro’s NASCAR gear: hat + jacket.
Now the previous YouTube video was published in 2013. Here’s that same outfit (and fish?) in GIF:
I’m calling it: same fish and everyone’s been duped into thinking this is a new catch.
Tag :
animals,
This Koala Bear Tried To STEAL A LAND ROVER
SUNRISE
AHHHHHHHHHHH.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Look at that koala bear! He’s trying to steal the car!
That koala bear got behind the wheel of an Australian kid’s Land Rover. He couldn’t steal it, because he was too small. BUT LOOK AT HIM.
Ger ready for the best photo of your life.
SUNRISE
You can see some more pictures from the attempted heist in this video.
[H/T Mother Jones]
Tag :
animals,
Watch Some Guy Get A Horn Up His Ass Trying To Be A Hero Running With The Bulls
SHUTTERSTOCK
You wanna play, bro? Okay, let’s play.
Benjamin Miller, a 20 year-old American from Georgia, decided to be one of those cool guys you see running with the bulls. So at Carnaval del Toro, a bullfighting festival in Spain, he decided to make a break for it and now has life-threatening injuries after being gored right in his arsehole.
According to CBS This Morning, “His injuries were so extensive, they surprised even a seasoned doctor who specializes in treating goring victims.”
First off, you mean there are enough dumbasses in the world that there’s actually a doctor “who specializes in treating goring victims?” Oy.
The Daily Mail paints an even grimmer picture…
His sphincter was quite damaged and suffered numerous hemorrhages. Miller had a three-hour operation to repair his thighs, sphincter and back.Surgeon Enrique Crespo was called to operate on Miller after he was injured on the first day of the annual festival. Crespo said: “It’s not the worst injury I’ve seen, but it’s the biggest goring wound I’ve ever had to operate on.”
So yeah, for the 37,946th time. Stop fucking running in front of angry bulls.
“Some of the images you are about to see are difficult to watch.” ~ Elaine Quijano
H/T SportsGrid; Bull image by Shutterstock
Tag :
animals,
This 173-Pound Dog Is The World’s Biggest Pitbull And I Want To Ride Him Into Battle
Gone are the days of wars being fought by hand-to-hand combat, but that doesn’t mean I can’t fantasize about riding the world’s biggest pitbull into battle.
Just imagine saddling this pup up and reigning hellfire down upon your enemies as you charge the lines brandishing a fiery sword, with this incredible canine specimen stopping soldiers dead in their tracks….Yup, I’m a complete fucking nerd and that tangent was way too long…but seriously, how awesome would that be?
But enough ranting about Roman war fantasies….
Meet The Hulk: he’s the world’s largest pitbull, tipping the scales at 173-pounds at only 17-months old. As a rule of thumb, most dogs continue to grow on through 2 to 3 years of age, so he’s even got some more growing to do.
The Hulk comes from Dark Dynasty K9’s, and as anyone who’s ever been around pitbulls knows: he’s probably the world’s biggest sissy. Though impressive to the eye, I’d be shocked if The Hulk wasn’t a sissy lap dog who lived for nothing other than sitting on his owner’s lap, licking face, and belly rubs.
Just look at him with his baby pup:
And of course I go off on another long tangent about how’s likely the world’s biggest softy, and then I see this training video from his kennel:
That dude is a BEAST, and holy shit is he impressive.
It’s tough to fathom how a pitbull can get to that size without some sort of artificial enhancement (cough cough steroids cough)…but for now let’s just sit back and marvel at the world’s most impressive pitbull:
Tag :
animals,
Oblivious Baby Has No Idea Lion Wants To Kill The Shit Out Of It
YOUTUBE
Being a baby–or even a kid for that matter–is a life of blissful ignorance. You don’t need to worry about how to get money for food, or wonder where the poop goes after you shit it into the diaper surrounding your ass. Things just happen. You’ve got it good.
You also don’t need to cower in fear when a lion is trying to kill you, because you have no idea what a lion trying to kill you looks like.
Well, kid. It looks like this. This is a lion trying to kill you. You’re lucky that glass was there. But next time, if you are out on safari and just giggle giggle giggle as one of these things approaches, you won’t be so lucky.
[Via Digg]
Tag :
animals,
Elephant Tries To Have Sex With A Car Which Doesn’t Work Very Well Because It Is A Car And Not Another Elephant
YOUTUBE
In fairness, this elephant may not be trying to have sex with a car, and was just in the mood to do some crushing, but for the sake of this post, let’s assume it was.
Stupid elephant you can’t have sex with a car that’s a car not an elephant.
Clearly an elephant does forget … what he’s supposed to have sex with. The answer is: other elephants, and not cats. (Note: this was a typo I enjoyed so much I decided to leave it in. Elephants shouldn’t have sex with cats or cars.)
Here’s what it looks like from the inside. This is some Jurrasic Park, T-Rex-type shit right here.
This all happened in the Khao Yai National Park in Thailand. Don’t go there if you are a car.
[H/T Elite Daily]
Tag :
animals,
Australian jumps on top of a fucking shark
YOUTUBE
The thing I love the most about this video of a man jumping from a dock onto the back of a deadly tiger shark is that it wouldn’t happen anywhere other than Australia.
Even though I can hear them talking, I really can’t decipher what they’re saying. So for now I’ll just assume it went something like this:
“Oy, mate, look at that fecken’ tiger shark swimming down there! I bet you won’t hop right on that shark’s back…”
“Feck you mah bruh, I’m gonna hop right up on that suckah before eee nose waaats hit ‘em!”
“Feck you mah bruh, I’m gonna hop right up on that suckah before eee nose waaats hit ‘em!”
And then he jumped onto the back of a tiger shark. Because he’s smart, and that’s what smart people do.
I’d like to also congratulate whoever took this video for it being the first one I’ve seen in years whose resolution maxes out at 144p. Frankly, these days that’s a f*cking accomplishment. Given how prevalent camera phones are with incredible resolution you’d almost have to go out of your way to find a potato capable of shooting at a dismal 144p. Kudos you, you crazy ass ‘strayans.
This is the tooth of a tiger shark. Notice how it’s serrated on the back end, and designed to slice perfectly upon entry. Then to shred on the way out. The tiger shark’s teeth are actually the perfect too for destroying apart flesh. And this is the shark he decided to pounce upon. Brilliant.
Tag :
animals,
RUSSIA: Wild Boar Attacks Passenger In Car, Passersby Kill Boar Using Kitchen Sink
YOUTUBE
This is without a doubt the MOST RUSSIAN video you’ll ever see, in terms of ‘WTF’ levels. Here a wild boar attacks someone in a car, in the middle of a town, and then a passerby kills the boar using a kitchen sink found on the side of the street.
Now I know what you’re thinking: ‘Cass, how can this be the MOST RUSSIAN VIDEO EVER when it doesn’t involve vodka, bears, or corruption?’ And to that I say ‘how the hell do you know that every person in this damn video isn’t drunk? You’d have to be hammered to see a crazed wild boar of that size attacking a person and think to yourself ‘You know what, I bet I could use this trashed kitchen sink sitting in this trash heap to kill that boar and bring glory upon Mother Russia!’
Also, why the hell was this video shot using a potato for a camera?
Tag :
animals,
Hawk attacks a drone mid-air bringing it down to the ground
A guy was flying his quadcopter at Magazine Beach Park, Cambridge, when a hawk suddenly appears and decides the sky is to small for both of them. The video shows how the hawk approaches the drone and knocks it down with a simple hit.
Freak Out Your Girlfriend With This Video Of A Spider EXPLODING With Baby Spiders During A Spider V. Spider Duel
Maybe it’s just me, but the feeling I get when I successfully freak someone out with a video is just…euphoric? Amused? No idea, but I sure as shit get a kick out of it. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, show this video to your girlfriend and watch her geek, but make sure to put her off guard by prepping her with something like “It’s a puppy frolicking in a field of daffodils, come watch!” If she’s got a weak stomach, you’ll get what I’m saying.
On the real though…fuck spiders.
Would You Crawl Through 320 Feet Of A Poo-Filled Sewer Pipe To Save 4 Puppies Like This Guy Did?
SHUTTERSTOCK
Would you? Really? Because I probably wouldn’t. Sure I’d call 911 or animal control or whoever to come get the puppies, but would I do it myself? I dunno guys…it’s poop. That stuff comes out of your butt, and I dunno about y’all but my butt’s been some pretty awful places that I wouldn’t wanna crawl through.
The dedicated animal-lover had stripped down to his underwear and stuck a torch in his mouth to illuminate the dogs, who were heard wailing for help down the tube.The man, believed to be a member of the Thai navy, climbed more than 100m down the tube to save the puppies, who were washed in after heavy rain.
“I almost died,” he told Sanook News.
Yeah sorry, those puppies would be dead if that were me, because that’s NOT happening.
Mississippi PIKE Arrested After Killing Two Flamingos At The Zoo In Fraternity Prank Gone Wrong
FOX 10 TV
Just when you thought fraternities couldn’t get any stupider, a University of Southern Mississippi frat Bro takes it to a whole new level. University of Southern Mississippi’s Pi Kappa Alpha Fraternity was having a scavenger hunt around Hattiesburg. One of the items on the list? Take a picture of the bird.
PIKE Bro Devin Nottis, 19, of Pascagoula, Mississippi, must have a learning disability where he misunderstood those directions. Instead of taking a picture of the bird, he TOOK the bird. Two, in fact. Today he was arrested on grand larceny changes. All of PIKE at Southern Mississippi has been suspended. Via the Sun Herald:
Rick Taylor, executive director of the Hattiesburg Convention Commission, which oversees zoo operations, said six individuals were involved, and Nottis has been charged with grand larceny. More charges could be filed as the investigation continues.According to a Hattiesburg Police Department news release, officers learned students were on a scavenger hunt, but Nottis took a Chilean Flamingo instead of taking a picture of the animal.The university suspended the fraternity following Nottis’ arrest.According to the release, the chapter has been ordered to cease and desist all activities until further notice by the university. In addition, the national office of the fraternity has placed the chapter on administrative suspension, requiring that it cease operations for 30 days while executive officers determine its future.
Someone’s watched The Hangover on USA one too many times. The news gets worse. The two Flamingos were injured and later had to be euthanized. The two beautiful birds are now dead because of the shenanigans:
The female Chilean flamingo was taken from the zoo early Tuesday, and was found injured later that morning. The bird had to be euthanized due to the extent of its injuries.A second flamingo since has died. It was the mate of the stolen flamingo, Taylor said. It was found dead in the holding area this morning with scrapes on its body.A necropsy was performed and gross internal injuries were discovered.“We think the male attempted to defend his mate and was injured,” Rick Taylor said.
Annnnnnnndddddddddd this is why people hate frats. Man, that last line just hits you right in the feels, huh? The male was injured trying to defend its mate, of which they both eventually died from. Just like Romeo and Juliet. If only more frat Bros could be like that…
Hot air balloon flies underground into Earth for the first time ever
When you hop into a hot air balloon, you expect to fly up. Not anymore. For the first time ever, a hot air balloon was successfully flown down and underground into the Mamet Cave in Croatia. Even better, it was a 70-year-old man who accomplished the feat, dipping down nearly 700 feet into Earth.
Ivan Trifonov, a seventy-year-old Austrian with a Croatian passport, was the first man to try, and succeed in flying a hot-air balloon underground. This experienced hot-air balloon pilot is already a proud holder of 4 Guinness records, and flying into the Mamet Cave, touching it's bottom and successfully flying out of the Cave is likely to be his fifth record, since no-one has ever done such a thing before. For flying underground Trifonov had to use a hot-air balloon specially designed for this unusual, and probably unrepeatable venture. His balloon was smaller than usual, and the brave pilot set on two gas tanks linked with steel pipes, instead of a basket.
